


It Already Hurts

by OnTheGround2012



Series: The Red Line works [1]
Category: The Red Line - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Chicago, Collage, Father-Daughter Relationship, Gay, Graphics, Husbands, Internal Monologue, Justice, M/M, Marriage, Mentioned Elizabeth Fermi, Mentioned Harrison Brennan, Mentioned Jira Calder-Brennan, Mentioned Paul Evans, Mentioned Tia Young, Murder, Overprotective, Parenthood, Photoshop, Police, Race, Racism, Reasons for Living, Worried father, racial issues, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 15:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18803227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheGround2012/pseuds/OnTheGround2012
Summary: Daniel's feeling through episodes 3 and 4.





	It Already Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work written for this fandom/series, so chances are that nobody will read it but whatever, I thought I'd share it anyway.
> 
> The Red Line is the best American show I've seen so far in 2019 (and I watch a lot of television). The writing and the performances of this series are absolutely mindblowing and I'd give all the awards out there to Noah Wyle and Aliyah Royale. I've always thought that Noah was a good actor but I feel that he's never done such a complex and heartbreaking performance before and he's absolutely surprised me here. And Aliyah is simply absolutely perfect for this role... and hell, I think she's gonna be a big star in the future. Their father-daughter relationship is my favorite thing of this series... it's something that can't be really explained in words... it's something that you feel in your heart very deeply in a very unique way that makes this show totally special.
> 
> And that's why after watching episodes 3 and 4, I really needed to write something about how Daniel feels... even if it's just for me.
> 
> Thank you Noah, Aliyah and everybody involved in this show for creating something so fucking special, inspiring and heartfelt. I wish this series got the recognition it deserves both from the viewers and the critics.

 

  


 

 

_They will assassinate Harrison all over again._

_It will hurt._

Elizabeth says.

And you know she’s right. It will fucking hurt.

But it already hurts.

It hurts all the time.

And you try not to cry because if you do, you won’t be able to stop.

It takes all the will in the world to get out of bed but you do it for her. Because Jira needs you now more than ever. Because you have to be strong for her.

Strong.

She thinks you’re strong because you don’t let her see what you’re going through. So you focus your energy on your work and trying to get a new trial and get that son of a bitch fired.

You just want Paul Evans punished for destroying your life. Your family.

You just want your husband’s life to mean more than money.

You just want justice.

Real justice.

And yes, you wish that being white wasn’t such a big deal because you think it shouldn’t matter.

So many families are waiting for justice. You know that. It isn’t fair that your case got fast-tracked because you’re white. Justice should be made no matter what race you are but obviously that’s just not how things work and, like Jira said, you better use it rather than waste it.

Because you were fooling yourself thinking that things would get better if you didn’t think about them.

That’s bullshit and you know it. Nothing will get better unless you do something. So you talk to the press and you make a statement, and you hope that it isn’t another waste of time. Because everything seems like a waste of time.

Everything is dark since he died.

Nothing gets solved and nothing changes. It only gets worse.

You’re such a fool.

You thought you could be in the same room. You thought you could look at Paul Evans and remain calm and collected but of course, you were wrong.

Absolutely wrong.

Something inside you breaks once again and you can’t deal with it. You ask him why he let your husband bleed on the floor. You break the terms of the deposition and you fuck up everything.

You should have known better. You shouldn’t have been there and you know it damn well but it is too late.

And finding out about Tia doesn’t exactly help right now. It’s just too complicated. Too soon.

Besides, she lied to you… no matter what she says, she lied to you.

And Jira also lied to you. She met her behind your back and she wants her to be a part of you… a part of your family and you don’t want to see your daughter getting hurt.

You worry so much about her. All you have left now if being her dad. Protecting her… so when she accuses you of being overprotective, you pretty much lose it.

Maybe you were not being fair.

Maybe she’s right and you’re overprotective but that’s always been your job and you’re not going to apologize for that.

It’s true… Harrison wasn’t like that but like you say, you’re the one who was there for her most of the time. Harrison was too tired from work to fight with her about curfew and chores.

You are the one who got her to bed and did her hair.

The one who took her to school with you.

The one who helped with her homework.

Yes, she might not look like you or come from you but you’re the one who was there everyday knee-deep in it.

It was you.

Whatever happens, you’re his dad and you will always protect her. That’s who you are now.

No longer a husband.

Just her dad.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [otg2012](http://otg2012.tumblr.com) on Tumblr if you wanna share any thought.
> 
> So, yeah, Kudos and feelings or thoughts would be appreciated if you like it :)


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